In what has to be my favourite divorce demand ever, Kelis has demanded that ex-hubbie Nas funds stem cell storage for their unborn child. A letter from Kelis' representative to Nas' lawyer Mark Kaplan stated that she needs cash to buy storage space "to bank the baby's blood when he is born. The banking is the collection and storage of the stem cells found in the baby's umbilical cord." So now you know. It sounds fucking gross frankly, and sounds worryingly like Kelis may be planning to clone a child army with which to wreak terrible vengeance on the world for ruining her career by stopping buying any of her records.

Kelis filed for divorce from the once genius rapper in May, citing 'irreconcilable differences'. In other words, he wasn't down with the child army idea. That's not her only claim either, as she is looking for money towards a nanny and lots of baby stuff, plus a couple of homes. All of which is fairly reasonable, and therefore not very interesting. It would seem that the poor mite is a bit brassic, and "does not have funds to maintain our marital lifestyle or pay for our unborn child's expenses". She goes on to state that " Nas has released nine albums, worked on songs for feature films, signed a shoe design deal, produced a Mike Tyson movie and is part owner of a company called Gorilla Union". Whereas Kelis, er, did that song with ODB. Actually, we quite like her, and she does seem quite comically bonkers. Yep, that should get us crossed off the path of the child army.