....ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Our sincere commiserations to serial knob head (sorry, twiddler) Mark Ronson, who has apparently split up with Daisy Lowe, his girlfriend of the last six months.

Despite refusing to answer questions about the break-up - he now only speaks when backed by superfluous horn stabs - Ronson has revealed he is mystifyingly chuffed with the results of his collaboration with the Kaiser Chiefs. Mark - who produced the band's upcoming LP 'Off With Their Heads' - told BANG Showbiz: 'It's a return to their first record Employment, it has a similar energy to that - but it's heavier. Bearing in mind that Employment was pretty bloody heavy going itself, it can only be imagined how dreary the new LP must be. We'd review it, but, well, you know.