There's all manner of news stories today, not one of which is worthy of our time in itself. Therefore, here is Flashlight's first ever, and possibly last ever, round up of the crap we thought worthy of stealing from other sources today:

First up is the quite genius news - primarily because we won't be there - that U2 are to be one of the headliners at the fortieth anniversary Glastonbury next year. Funnier still, Michael Eavis had the following to say:

"I promised the best possible line-up for the show next year and the confirmation that U2 will play their first ever Glastonbury shows that unfortunately we weren't able to manage that in the slightest." Actually, he didn't say that, instead describing it as "fantastic news - particularly for those who decided to sack it off in favour of going to see Pavement at All Tomorrow's Parties." I don't think he actually said that last bit either; I may have misheard. Anyway, here's what all you 'lucky' Glastonbury people have to look forward to..

We also see that Robbie Williams is after a new record deal, as his infamous 4 album, 279 billion quid contract with EMI comes to an end. Williams is apparently willing to sell half the rights to his next album, as well as touring and sponsorship earnings. So let's do the maths..eight albums sold at, well people will probably just download torrents of them, plus...how much do you get paid for playing at the Barfly nowadays? I reckon he could at least half fill it..plus the money he's make from Lidl..well anyway, it's got to be worth seventeen pounds of anyone's money.

Finally, speaking of profitable ventures, that bloke from Starsailor and that bloke from The Lightning Seeds have got together to announce a tour that will surely go down in history as the first, and probably only, time you'll get to see the bloke from Starsailor and the bloke from The Lightning Seeds play together, subject to enough tickets being sold to make the dates worth playing. In fairness, a few of us here find it difficult to slag them off fully, as they're both good Reds. Difficult, but not impossible. They're playing the following enormodromes:

Leeds Brudenell Social Club - November 30th
Birmingham Arcadian - December 1st
Preston 53 Degrees - December 4th
Lancaster Music Library - December 5th
Edinburgh Cabaret Voltaire - December 6th
Glasgow Oran Mor - December 7th
Manchester Ruby Lounge - December 9th
Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms - December 10th
Northampton New Roadmender - December 11th
London Borderline - December 13th

So that's your news for today. We're off to consider whether the fact that The Rolling Stones are to re-release 'Wild Horses' due to the 'success' of 'female' 'songstress' Susan Boyle's 'version' is the most damning indictment of the music industry today. Then we remember that U2 are headlining Glastonbury and we're not going, and suddenly everything just seems so right.