For once, little to know snide comments or sarkyness here. Well, maybe a couple, but certainly far less than usual. Basically, some rather famous musicians have signed up to a special auction that is being put on to raise cash for Oxfam's emergency response in Haiti. Among the items on offer are the iconic Fender Strat played by Alex Turner in Arctic Monkeys' 'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor' video, a Technics SL-1200 Mk.2 turntable as used by DJ Shadow during the making of his seminal Endtroducing LP, signed Status Quo (oh yes!) stage clothes (which we can safely assume will be denim in nature), Magic Numbers to play a gig in your garden and many more quite amazing items. If I happen to win the Lottery this week I will definitely take all of them. I also quite like the idea of bidding for Damon Albarn to write a personal song for me:

"So, what would you like this song to be about, what kind of vibe do you want?"
"Well Damon, I don't really mind, but could you please call it 'Damon Albarn Blows Goats'?"

Or winning the auction for an acoustic guitar signed by all four original members of The Kooks, and proceeding to burn it in front of them. That's it for the sarcasm I swear.

The auction is live now, and runs for the next ten days. All proceeds will go to Oxfam's humanitarian response in Haiti. The full auction listing can be found here, and the auction itself here. More stuff, including items from the fashion and art world are to be added in the coming days.

Of course, if this is all a little pricey for your budget, you can donate via the Oxam website. Oxfam is one of the 13 member agencies currently taking part in the Disasters Emergency Committee Haiti appeal, which has raised more than 38 million quid so far.

To make a donation to the DEC Haiti Earthquake Appeal visit www.dec.org.uk or call 0370 60 60 900, donate over the counter at any post office or high street bank, or send a cheque made payable to 'DEC Haiti Earthquake Appeal' to 'PO Box 999, London, EC3A 3AA'.

Essentially, do everything you can to help, barring buying Simon Cowell's self serving shit fest that is the celebrity laden version of REM's 'Everybody Hurts' that he is putting together. Ah, who are we trying to kid, buy that too if you must. Just don't ever play it. Instead, play another song on the same label that you've been told to buy to prove just how different you are to the ignorant masses.